Letters from You

From: Peri Lyn

Heather, You are an amazing woman. Thank you for just being you. :o)

From: Kim

i just saw your amazing story. im kim and also a quadriplegic and my boyfriend beat me. he was my friend since i was 12 years old and he knew me before my car accident. i felt safe and protected by him......hows that for irony. we moved from chicago to arizona and the abuse began. 30 years after knowing loving and trusting him he was drunk and punched me in my face as well as spitting in my face. i got rid of him but that was close to impossible. the last time we spoke he had called me to tell me he bought a gun. i moved to tucson almost immediately after that call. ive left allot of the story out because its just too long and painful. i too live a happy (safe) life but i live alone and dont try to make friends as my trust is gone but i would love to be your friend.............u have inspired me.....thank u beautiful spirit! love kim

From: Jason

Hi Heather, I recently seen your story on Discovery. I am happy to hear you are doing well. As much as I would like to donate to assist you and your family, I am unable to … I too am finding it hard to support my wife and 5 children at the moment, as things are getting pretty rough. But, I am a web developer … so, if I can ever help you with your website or any other web endeavors, please do not hesitate to contact me direct, at my number below. I wish you and your family the very best! Good for you!

From: Jacquie

You are truly a beautiful and inspiring woman. I just watched your story on ID and am amazed by you and your strength. I wish you nothing but the best and thank you for the work you are doing for others. You are incredible. A true Angel. Big hugs to you girl. Jacquie

From: Stella

Hello, I just saw the piece on your story on Behind Mansion Walls. What a beautiful, courageous, dedicated woman you are. A lot of women would not have had the courage to go on with their lives after a traumatic incident such as yours. As the old saying goes: "You turn lemons into lemonade". You keep doing what you are doing. Many are watching, I'm sure. You should be very proud that your children have in you a beautiful person to follow as the best role model in their lives.....their strong-like-iron mom. I guarantee you they will be strong like you if you guide them well. And your daughter will have you to teach her how to weed out the bad suitors from the good. It's a real "interview process". Teach her well. Women seem to never value themselves enough to take care of the things that really matter, like their lives. They are always falling for, and trusting all the wrong people. That's the mold that needs to be broken. In your speeches stress to young girls to stop becoming so dependent on young men. And to not get involved so seriously at such a young age. They need to enjoy the early years of youth, study, have friends, go hiking, learn from their grandparents, and LIVE before all those wonderful years slip away. Your life might have gone in a direction you never expected. You may have daily difficulties different and harder than most people. But to see you doing what you are doing with all your limitations makes me really look at myself, my family, my friends, and all my blessings very differently. I will never take anything for granted. I am 59 years old (just had a birthday), born in Argentina. I tell all my girlfriends who have gone through tough divorces to really be vigilant of who they pick as a next life partner. To open their eyes as they have never opened them before. To not fall in love with being in love (they are way past 16). They seem to be listening, thank God. You are so pretty. I wish you luck, love, peace, and continued success in all you do. Your kids look great. May God grant you everything. You deserve it ten-fold. You are a hero. Stella Spring, TX

From: Pat

Hi Heather, Wow! I JUST saw your story on TV (Investigative Discovery channel), and I'm SO inspired and PROUD of you! I just sort of had the TV on for "background sound", until I heard the name Ron Samuels, and I thought "That name is familiar." I'm SO thankful he is in prison, and hope he NEVER gets out! THANK YOU for being an inspiration to those of us that have not seen "justice", and may not ....this side of Heaven. I HAVE started writing the TRUTH about my marriage of 26 years and subsequent divorce, mainly ( if for no other reason) than for my 5 children to know the TRUTH some day. (I have also been put in touch with several women who were married to abusive ministers, who might benefit from my story.) My husband was a popular EX-convict (supposedly) turned minister that (still) has his own Prison Ministry, has re-married (convincing people, including some of our children, of a lie that I was an adulteress, so he could biblically re-marry and remain a minister), continues to travel and preach in numerous churches, raising "support" for his ministry. The TRUTH, however, is that he was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive to me behind closed doors, while regularly reminding me of his "connections" in prison, keeping me afraid to leave him for fear of death. He told me, repeatedly "If you leave me, it will ruin my ability to make money, and then I will ruin YOU." His "ministry", I found out later was nearly non-existent, and he traveled with another "ex-convict minister friend", and they frequently got drunk together in motels while on a ministry trip". They also, both, ended up with Hepatitis C, making their activity together even more suspicious! Finally, an "abusive event" snapped me into reality that one day he would kill me. My younger 2 children were home at the time, and although their dad, of course, put a "spin" on the event to try to make it a "misunderstanding", I started making plans to move toward divorce. I've been divorced 7 years, now, but stayed in Pensacola until my youngest left home, so as not to move my youngest 2 from their emotional support system in their church youth group. Although I DID ( very discreetly) seek help from our minister at church, NO HELP was offered, and after the divorce, my husband remained a leader in that church! Even though I told him that I didn't care what church people think, but pleaded with him to tell our children that I did NOT commit adultery, he refused. ( He, instead, INCLUDED in his story that I went through a midlife crisis and "went temporarily crazy". )When I tried to tell one of my older son's the truth, his reply was "One of you is lying." My husband even went to the trouble of having a cop buddy of his "stage" a lie detector for him to pass "proving" he was not abusive. He carried a copy of it around showing people, but a mutual friend told me that my ex-husband helped plan the questions! To this day I'm sure my kids have questions, and although I have told them I would not lie and they are free to ask me for the truth, not one of them has! (I don't offer any info either.) I, instead, have focused on loving them and being a good "Oma" (grandmother) to their children, and living an honest and respectable life, to the best of my ability. Up to this point in my life (I'm now 58 yrs old), I'm not the least bit interested in dating! All 5 of my children have now left Pensacola, and although I remain in close contact with all of them, (I have 3 married sons, a single son, and 1 single daughter in college.), we just don't ever talk of " the divorce". They are all in touch with their minister dad, who married a respected missionary woman. ( I believe it to be a "political move" on his part.) Because she believes him (or WANTS to),of course, I was told by a friend of mine that his new wife also regularly tells people that I committed adultery! ( I guess she feels she needs to defend her 2nd marriage, as she also depends on church donations for HER ministry.) Meanwhile, I'm an ER nurse, and enjoy the PEACE I have in my new home away from Pensacola! Although, I became a Christian in my early 20's, I have not been involved in any church since divorcing. Perhaps you can understand why. I certainly have MAJOR trust issues! When I began this e-mail, I certainly didn't intend to make it this long! I think this is why I'm also writing "my story". I've never actually TOLD the whole thing!! While my ex has re-married, remains a leader at his church, travels extensively, lives in the PAID FOR house where we raised all our children, while I home-schooled all of them, and enjoys public respect, while having lots of free time for sailing his boat and running marathons, I'm working the night shift and struggling to pay off debts, while looking behind my shoulder for one of his " prison buddies". I even had an old friend contact me from another State, who had heard from a another mutual friend that had heard my EX preach at her church. He reported THERE ( not realizing there was someone from my our past in the congregation) that I had died of breast cancer (!), and after taking care of me until I died, he had re-married. Isn't that just AMAZING?! In a bad way? Hmmm...perhaps another chapter is coming together for my book? :) Truly, TRULY.... I SO admire your strength and tenacity, Heather. Thank you for all that you do! I can only hope that all that I have been through will prove to be used for a greater purpose, as well, some day. Blessings and Peace, Pat

From: June

Hi Heather, My name is June. I live in Indiana. I have watched your story of violence and abuse that you suffered. I can not tell you enough how sorry I am that you suffered and have had to endure what you have.my heart breaks for you. My heart has a special place for you. My Mother and I discovered years ago that my eldest sister was enduring abuse. She lived out of state and upon a visit, we saw bruises. Mother moved her and her 4 children home to Indiana. Unfortunately the damage was already done. She started having neck and sholder pain, and soon after her leg would give outand she started falling. She had a tumor on her spine at the base of her skull. The surgeon told us not to be concerned, the surgery would be a "walk in the park". Well, after 8 hours of surgery, she was now a quadriplegic. This was October of 2000. My sister went to be with Jesus, March of 2001. Thank you Heather, for speaking out. I miss my sister so much. I am thankful that you survived. Sincerely, June

From: Gina

Your the most insirational story on television and I wish you the best from here on...thank you for sharing your story and being so strong! It will truly help alot of women in the future! Thanks for coming back to us and fighting! Gina

From: Diane

Hello Heather, I happened to see a story on you on Dateline ID and read an extensive article about your story. I too am a victim of abuse. I was abused by my first boyfriend ever for 3 years in high school in St Paul, Mn. I too denied he was abusing me for years even when asked by teachers, counselors and authorities. After graduating high school I moved on to college and was able to get away from my abuser. Sadly, the summer of my Sophomore year in college I went home and reconnected with my abuser to get back money he owed me. I was very foolish! He lured me to his home and I believed that the family was home when in fact no one was in the home accept him. He lured me into his bedroom which was in the basement of the house. He locked the door behind me when I stepped down the stairs. I knew immediately that he was going to try to kill me and he did just that. He tried to strangle me that day and thank God I passed out from sheer fear. When I came to I was naked on his bed and he was sobbing over my body. I think he really thought he had killed me. God was with me that day and gave guided me to quietly get up saying no words, put my clothes on and gingerly leave the room. I know he had protected me I could feel it. Thankfully, I never saw my abuser again! I was too afraid to brining charges against him because I knew that the case would be tough to defend as I had willingly went to the house and for all the times I had denied my own abuse etc... I am hoping that lawmakers will take a stand for abuse victims and note that it is a survival technique by victims to deny abuse. I just want you to know that I think you are a remarkable role model for the many victims of abuse out there! Thank you for your courage!!! Many times in my life I wondered why I had to endure those painful years. I now have two daughters of my own and I am raising them to never be victims. I have shared my story with cousins, family friends and my children and their friends. Many times my story cautioned a young girl from going down the wrong path. I hope you know that by being brave and sharing your story you too are helping many young women and maybe they will think twice before engaging in relationships with boys or men who are unstable. Or that if they don't realize it they could have the bravery to leave the relationship. I just felt the desire to share with you and to let you know that although you are going through this there are people like me whose hearts you have touched. I will be praying for you and your children. Thanks for sharing your story and may God bless you and your family!!! Diane

From: Steve

Good Morning Heather, I hope you are well and enjoying Life? I am a 52 year male from the south East of England around 35 miles from south Of London, I watched the documentary of your life and what happened to you and I thought I would drop you a line. I don't really know how to start all I know is that your Husband Ronnie will stayed behind bears for the rest of his life and so he should I could not believe what I was watching it's a very sad and tragic story. I was in tears myself when you broke down and cried at the end of the program it almost made me like reaching through the TV and giving you a cuddle. I can see that you have wonderful loving parents and 3 beautiful children and no doubt you would not be around today if it was not for them. There is so much domestic violence in this world and I am sure that a lot of it goes unreported due to the modern and hectic life we lead today. Apart from being a very attractive lady you seem strong willed with a good sense of humour. I have facial paralysis and I have been like it for nearly 15 years caused by severe ear infections as a child, I have been verbally abused in the street and I am sure I have been discriminated against when I have seeked employment and after seeing yourself it makes me feel lucky. Keep up the good work and stay healthy, Steve

From: Jean

Dear Heather, My name is Jean and I watch all of the shows on ID. This morning I saw your story and I was not only moved to tears but I felt the need to contact you. Words can't express the way I so feel for you. You were and still are a wonderful mom, a gorgeous woman and wonderful person. The part of your story that hit me hardest is when you met the doctor who saved your life. He said you were begging him to let you go and there was no way he was going to let that happen. I can understand why you wanted to give up but the doctor knew you had so many reasons to live-your beautiful children!! In your heart you knew you had to be there for them and that's only a part of the reasons why you thankfully are still here with us. Through your work with other para and quadrapaligics, you give them a reason to go on. You are such a wonderful, beautiful inspirational woman I am so happy you are still with us and I'm sure there are thousands if not millions of other people who agree with me!! Wishing you all the best and sending you much love Heather, you are AWESOME!!! Jean

From: May

Hi Heather, How are you. My name is May. I just watched a tv show with my brother telling your story which aired here in Scotland, United Kingdom. When I googled your name and found your website I was very much in awe of how far you have come and how you have survived. As I watched your story and listen to you tell what happened I had tears in my eyes. You have such a beaufiful spirit and are such a wonderful person you so did not deserve for this to happen. What an evil man your ex husband was - I am so glad he is in jail for the rest of his life. I just wanted to reach out and say God bless you, God love you and may he hold you and keep you safe for the rest of your life, and may that be a long life with your lovely children and family.

From: Tony

Dear Heather, I recently watched your story on one of the crime channels, and I still feel so humbled. In a situation where many probably spend much of their time feeling sorry for themselves, you have taken the bull by the horns and shown whatever the circumstances, one can be strong and an inspiration to others. Your courage and persistence made me take a long hard look at myself and the petty things I go on about in life. Your family must be so proud of you! Tony

From: Brenda

Hello Heather. I'm from Brazil and I'm thrilled with your strength and beauty. You are very beautiful and a very strong person. I wish you all the best in your life! Congratulations. I think I fell for you and your story. Be happy in all aspects of your life! Kisses from Brazil. Brenda.

From: Danielle

Dear Heather Grossman, I wanted to say I think it's really neat that you are working with domestic violence victims and awareness. I was a woman that was in the use of marriage. I always fought back and thought that was okay my children need their father. I was even dumb enough to marry in the second time thinking he had changed.after 6 years I was finally done. I had attempted to commit suicide do to PTSD from combat when I served in Iraq and my horrible home life. 99 my ex husband said he could care less if I killed myself. So I took the bottle jack in a bottle PTSD medication for my depression. I had gotten a phone call from one of my soldiers and I asked him to help me and he did not know what had happened or what was going on in my life. It brought me to the hospital and I do to my fantastic puking reflexes I survived. I wanted to a 72 hour lockdown phility for mental health. When I was in there it has been the most piece I have felt since my multiple deployment some horrible marriage.I was not quite ready to leave and September of 2010. It would take to that November for me I finally have enough. We got into another fight through things at me broke windows cops got involved. It was a good day and gave me the strength to leave him. On top of that Child Protective Services was in my life and then love my children. They did not need to tell me that I have a decision to make it either leave my at the time soon to be ex husband. I was already done by then completely and utterly. Family member helps me get my soon to be ex husband out of the states so I could try divorce him. Even though I did not tell Social Services that and then to be very angry for me not telling about my plan was. I am one of those people take care of my own and I take care of my own problems. Then I was able to hire a lawyer with the help my dad and start the divorce process. Little bit I know at that time that when my ex husband decide to come back to Colorado as I was based in fort Carson that that's what they needed in order to completely start the divorce. 4th of February 2011, my life what ultimately changed. I am not paralyzed as you are but I almost died as the most willing pin cushion you will ever meet. my ex husband got into the apartment and I didn't even know he was in town yet for sure. One of the windows was slightly open and he came in why I was taking sleeping medication deal with nightmares from the ugliness of War. He apparently took a shower which I did not know what the time. He zip tired my legs and started to punch me in my head as I can certainly woke up. you would also try to smother me with a pillow when all of my combat training start to kick in. I started realizing I need to survive but even though I was slowly smothering and not being able to breathe I start pushing back and all I could think of is where is my kids were my three beautiful children. he would continue to try to tie my hands and I kept pushing away. he finally realized even though we have punch me in the head about 20 times and try to choke me to death and smother me to death but that wasn't working as I fought hard. Then he would continue after thrown me on the floor to kick me in my side my gut and stomp on my head. I finally realizes I need to change my tacticin order to try to survive this ordeal. It turned into a I love you baby, lets run away, and I don't care if I go AWOL. kissing him trying to touch him in order to get him to stop. He finally pulled me up by my hair and showed me what he was powerful enough to do to me. Then I agreed to have sex with him. It is still considered rape by the law but I consider it practically a prostitution deal in order to save my kids. then he finally cut off the zip ties I need help me gather the children with the knife around my neck the whole time during the to try. The only thing I could think about is the nine million scenarios in my head and I couldn't think of any that will allow me to keep all three of my children alive as he had already perfect desire just kill all of us and him to commit suicide. so the only way I figured out to do this was a walk in the front door and my plan was to get all the kids in the car and then somehow like him off so I could drive away with my children straight to police station. What a cold winter snowy night it was the 4 Feb 2011. has we went outside I had my one year old daughter Bella in my arms and my two sons Joe 3 and Allen 4 walking by my side. I saw a group of people talking together in the apartment complex I screamed mediately to my sons to run run hard. I ran with my daughter in my arms and started screaming for the people to help me that my ex husband I was trying to kill me and my kids. Was in just a few seconds and I only made it 20 feet my ex husband stabbed me a total 14 times. as he was stabbing me I was in the fetal position holding my daughter trying to prevent her from getting stabbed also. Even stabbed me on the neck and I knew I was dad has a blood gussed out everywhere. I almost died. In the end I lived and saved my kids. After two combat deployments I ended up put to use my training to save my kids even tho I did not plan on living at all. I end up proudly watching and helped locked up my ex for 34 years. I even have best divorce a party ever. I am now betrothed to a good man and a mom to his little girl with my three brave kids. unfortunately because of my PTSD from combat and my ex husband. I was forced medically retired as a proud retired army Sgt. I'm also studying psychology to help other vets from war. Not every war end once you leave combat. That was only training to what would end up as my biggest war of my life. I am so proud of you for leaving. I am so proud of your work. Maybe one day I will run in to you. If I do you will be hugged as my sister in arms against domestic violence. Just as I care for my brothers and sister in arms as vets for war. Thank you and always, Retired army Sgt Danielle

From: Danny

Heather, I know you get a lot of mail so I'll try to be brief. With all you have been through, your eyes still sparkle with hope and love that brings forth the angels who watch over us all. I too was enduring a series of issues revolving my parents as well as myself. I attempted suicide twice knowing that it is just a permanent solution to an temporary problem. But, I saw your program and saw how you turned disaster into a blessed gift to share with others. And I could feel God working within me and telling me to get off the pitty pot and start living my life like you are. You are such an inspiration in my life that I need to stop worrying about me and give back to those who have so freely given me. You are a very special woman with a powerful message that transcends the negative and provides a reason to find an outlet to God's love and blessings. Thanks you Heather for teaching me how to love again. I love you. Danny, Daytona Beach

From: Chris

I watched your story this morning and wanted to say how unbelievable you are. It was hard to see the awful, negative side of this story due to the joy that is still in your eyes. Your one of the strongest people I have ever seen. Sincerely, Chris

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How You Can Help

Heather Grossman's ex-husband hired a man to kill her in 1997. He was not successful in his attempt to take her life, but the gunshot wound left Heather paralyzed from the neck down. Heather was just 31 years old with three young children. During the years since the incident, Heather's family has been doing everything they can to keep her alive and well, but expenses are high, and they need as much help as they can get.

Since Heather's new website launched on September 21 with the Paypal Donation Options, Heather's family has received donations from quite a few generous people. Please take a moment to see who has donated to Heather's family so far.

My Story

I’m a mother, mentor and a survivor of domestic violence. Ten years ago domestic violence forever changed my life and the lives of my family. As the bullet penetrated my spinal cord, it shattered many hopes, dreams and my ability to function as I once did but it did not destroy me or my will to live. Ten years ago my ex-husband, Ron Samuels, hired men to murder me. I died at the scene of the crime but was brought back to life by a paramedic.